Friday Funnies

Brady is convinced he can only run fast if he is wearing jeans and sneakers.  Don't even think about putting boots on him, he will just fall over.  And he gets irrationally angry when you suggest pants made from another material besides denim.   Where did he come up with this notion??

I bought a bag of M&Ms and gave him a bunch to eat on the ride home. He ate them all and asked for more. I told him he couldn't have anymore because he would get a belly ache. A few minutes later he asked for some more and said "I wanna have a belly ache"

"You wanna know what Sissy is gonna do tomorrow?  She is gonna shave her pits."

He comes out of his room with his pants around his ankles.  "I'm just cleaning my balls, don't even worry about it."

We were pretending we were on vacation at the beach.  He was talking about how it was me, him, and Harper.  I said "its a shame Dad couldn't come, he had to work."  He informs me that Dad was there with us.  Oh ok.  "He is over there pooping in the sand."  I about peed myself.

He has been waking up in the middle of the night to pee for the last few weeks.  Some nights he gets up and does it by himself and goes right back to bed.  Other nights he is completely confused and can be found speaking jibberish in the hallway, crying out for his phone (no dude, its 4am go back to bed), or just opening and closing his door.  One night he came out crying and came into my room (Jim was away) and was hysterical.  "What's wrong buddy?"  (keep in mind I am a sucky middle-of-the-night parent)  "Sissy's book was in my room."  He really just had to go to the bathroom but is so confused in the night I guess that book was really upsetting, weirdo.

While looking out the front door at the darkness that rolled in...
"Where is Dad?"   "He is still at work."  "Does that mean its still sunny in Brooklyn?"

"I'm selling donuts  Mom."  "ok, I'll take one, how much are they?"  "$2001"  Nevermind, I don't want a donut.

He was eating a lollipop in the store and gave Harper a lick of it all on his own.  I told him she was going to want more licks and that probably wasn't the best idea.  Well the line at the checkout was taking forever and Harper was getting crabby so I asked Brady to let her have another lick.  He sticks it in her mouth and after a few seconds "Is she done or what?" said with the sass of a 13 year old girl.

While watching Home Alone.... "That guy is a little bit nice but a lot of bit mean."

Me and the kids were at Chipotle and Brady had to pee so we went to the bathroom.  I figured while we were there I may as well go.  The following conversation took place very loudly:
Brady:  Mom, are you pooping?
Me: no I am just peeing.
B: I think you are pooping.
M: No dude, I am just peeing.
B:  Well then why are you sitting down?"
M: because that's how girls pee, sitting down.
he waits a few seconds....
B:  No, I think you are pooping.
M:  Ok, fine whatever.
we leave the bathroom...
B: Mom, you pooped in there!!!

2 funny sayings that totally cracked me up...
"Awww sugar plums."
"What's all the commotion?"
He sounds like a 89 year old woman.

One night he got up to pee and then was crying in the hallway about being scared.  After putting him back in bed a few times and having him come in our room and waking Jim up I decided to just go lay in his bed with him.  Before I could even lay down I had to clear out that side of the bed and this is some of the crap I found in the bed:  (he may end up on Hoarders someday)


We saw this boat coming out of the Holland Tunnel the other day and Brady was convinced it was my dad and brother's boat and wanted me to speed up to see if it was them. I am still not sure how that boat even made it in and out of the tunnel without getting stuck.


He had to use the bathroom down in the basement yesterday while he and I were down there sewing. There isn't a step stool down there so he decided to be resourceful.... a Stella step stool


Do I have anything in my teeth?


and the rest of the cell phone pics from the last month, whew I think I am all caught up and hope to get back to posting weekly instead of one huge dump.